How do I tell them..?

It's been a real rough week.

I was down with fever, flu and asthma. Pills and puffs did not work as they are suppose to. The days end with cold and cruel nights. My coughings irritate people surrounding me; obviously. Coming along with it, I can't walk well. My left knee seemed unable to hold my weight any longer. The pain stings tremendously whenever I want to stand or stretch my legs. But my heart suffered the most. Mon cher cynically accused me for not trying to get the correct medication.

How I wish he'd understand.

How I wish for a soothing calming words from him..

** Sigh**

God, how do I tell them?

How do I tell them that I did not ask for whatever tests that i'm having right now.
How do I let them know that i need their support.. not their judgement.

For right now, I am ashamed for things that I presume people would say about me.
Making excuses.


God, I felt like dying. Please tell them..
please tell them that I never wanted things to be this way.

What is happening to me..?

There Goes the Same ‘Ol Issue!

Yep, I know. Definitely you’ll think how pathetic I’d be; having the same grudges every single day. The same self-oriented issue. I feel like a total loser.

I sincerely do not know what to do with myself.

Please tell me, God. Is it all my fault?

How do I start?

Intann : There’s nothing but pain, in me..

Cold..am down with it again.

Quite sometime, eh? How I miss talking to myself again.

How am I. Never been better. I'm off from taking prednisolone pills since early april. God knows how happy I am, feels like I'm off from all the misery links and now it's time for me to get my body back in shape.

And that, certainly a really tough job. I almost forgot how gutful i was 4 years back, when exercising was part of my life! Hahah.. now, all I did was creating excuses after excuses, for not wanting to exercise. God, please.I need that spirit again. So badly!

Too bad, my asthma strike again. My lungs is not strong enough to contain extreme cold weather. Last night was real hard! I vomitted a few times, and my chest felt weak. I wheezed roughly all through the night. Mon cher and ezzah were drenched all over, for I had to switch both air-cond and fan. Pity ezzah.

Intann : Can't sleep during night time. Took that advantage to see both my babies sleeping. God, i love them so much.