Quarter-life issues - Am I Strong Enough?
Well, things have been smooth and rough, having to put up with the work, simultaniously with the daily routine. Yet, when I come home everyday to see my baby's genuine smiles she throws me, her charms and her smell, simply chase away everything that's bugging me.
Ezzah.I have to believe, she is 9 months old today. Needless to mention how active she is, a step away from walking. She'll grab anything to stand up, and later knocked herself either to the wall or the floor. (She was down with fever everytime her tooth came out. Twice!)
My brother came back from UK two weeks ago, and becoming ezzah's top enemy. He misses his girls so much he gomoi ezzah so badly, he wouldn't stop until she cries. He'd bite her cheeks, and arms, throws pillows towards her, and makes ezzah stunned with his voice. Ezzah would look so blurred and fuzzy everytime he shouted; and we'd all laugh at her. Sian dia..
God, I love her so much.So much.
Mon cher. He bought himself a new HP laptop, only to find that the new vista wouldn't accomodate any pirate softwares. The dreams of gaming with the new HP burst into thin air - and he got moody everytime he thinks about it. Worse of all, he sometimes throws the grunts on me! Guess this is what every women in the world would hate - becoming second to his eyes. Not bad enough?To this stupid machine. Not to mention, the hours he spend gaming, and my feelings is not his priority anymore.
Work.Hmm.I was told that I would be one of the officer who'd be relocated in the next reshuffle. Guessed that would be another romour. But today, a close friend of mine confirmed the move. To serve another lady boss. In Corporate Department.
Me ?Corporate? You all have no idea how I am - I mean, my appearance, etc.That's my only concern. The truth, I hate it to be this extra-fat,then have to put extra effort from anyone else to shed away those fat cause I have steroid issues. Plus, a close friend told me I'm not as active and competent as I was before. Thanks friend, I need that. Somebody need to tell me if I strayed. Somehow I have to swallow all the mistakes i've done-to move on. Yeah. Need to move on.
Maybe I shrugged so much. I envied everybody to my eyes is beautiful. I hate them.
All I have to console myself, is myself. God, please help me.
Where are all the love in the world? Is love the only matter nowadays? We can't do anything anything without love? Nahhhhh.............But I need you. Mon cher..help me please..
What am I going to do? Is this what everybody is facing at this age? Gimme some idea!
Intann : Need to move on. I'll picture everyone I love is with me..