Love and life.. come and go..

I once claimed that I already faced what I called a 'reality' of life that bit me hard. I was totally wrong. And how wrong is my mistake? You will have no idea about it.

A lot had happened - and its been quite a while since my last posting. And all thru the week, I finally realised that i was way way wayyy from having the 'reality' on top of my nose.

21-25th Dec * 5-days of 'chicago-away-training' ..a five days straight having no phone calls at all with mon cher was quite a moment in my entire life. I was like being swept away with emotions, but at the same time.. I did learn something.. a lot actually. I learned how to become a human with stronger heart..

25th of Dec - my fifth niece was born. Only God knows how delighted I was. And how i was spelled and charmed by their magics. They are really an angel!

And it was the same day I heard mon cher's voice again. This two things that happened to me was a miracle. I felt like being released from a cruel suffocation - and finally breathe again. I thought about love..and how the magic of love brought charms and angels into this world.

But then, the next day - lifes of others were being taken away. Thousands and thousands of them - By a great tsunami. And on TV, horribly,I watched people mourning for their love ones.

And I was struck by my own thoughts and fears. Blurred and so so sooo scared.. I just couldn't controlled myself. I called mon cher at 4 in the morning- because I felt like dying..and wanted to hear his voice. Yes i was being ridiculous-I was scared of losing-but then I was calm again.

I began to think. Who are we to deny God's powers and fates that is written to us. God gives us lifes.. and in split seconds, who knows?

The thing is now - I feel so fragile. As if I still can't reckon who or what or whatever that is in ME. Mon cher was right. Always let my feelings and emotions overpowering me..

And its not the reality that I should face; yet, but myself.

Intann : The 'reality of life' will always be like it is. Its up to us. its our life. so LIVE IT! CHERISH IT! As long as you can..with your own definitions and in your own sweet way.