Let It Go..

I had quite an emotional day today.

I attended the department's auditing 'last minute' meeting carrying my obligation as one of the auditer; only to find myself a victim of unruly judgement by others. Or in other word; they hate me.

First, a colleague of mine confessed her dissatisfactions of a statement made by our DG. Uh oh..it's regarding promotions. Later, a director came up and voiced out his grudges towards my divisions. Right in the face. Okey. There I was. Digesting words every words. Trying hard to find; is there any WRONG that I have ever done (to them) to deserve such a harsh accusation. I feel sick in the heart. Shocked and saddened.

Pieces of familiar faces came across my winding mind. So, that is the answer to their sudden weird reactions towards me last few days. My greetings were coldly replied. Some just ignored my questions. Sour faces were showed. My goodness. I really felt like crying. How can I didn't realize that?

Yes, I do heard a few grudges here and there, politics, seniorities, this and that from a few close friends; but nothing had concerned me. I thot things about promotions and career expansion only affects few who deserve them; but obviously, I am the one who's missing the points. Being the last to know; today, is the answer to all the calls.

Sincerely, I wish I had this very simple answer from them.

Do I, in any form of way, had had them hurt, affect or block their ways to the top?

If they thought being in the intensely stressed division can earn me easy way to the top, they should probably think twice, and think wise. I do not voluntarily stepped inside that bloody drain just to have myself being scolded and humiliated. Please, they are most welcome to step in my shoe.

There is only one thing I wish I can embrace now. My friendship with my close colleagues. God, they are all so dear to me. Although, I severely bleed with their thoughts, and cruel judgements, I wish they know how much they matters to me.

I just do not know who's wrong or right. I just want this war to end.

Intann : When we are dealing with egos, the best way is to step aside. Cherish the sweetness of life. And friendships. To the fullest.