Alone again naturally..

Wonder if you guys ade dengar lagu from Ally McBeal- banyak yang best.. but this 'alone again' song - captured my attention sebab quite slow and sedey skit lagu dia.. I dengar for quite some times before i know that the lyrics bukanlah totally 'love' based. Dia try nak cerita hidup dia since dulu.. always have to cope with person she love died and leave her alone.. try lah dengar one day..really nice!.

Mm.. talking pasal 'death' ni..(Frankly-i'm scared..) I dua tiga menjak nih quite often dreamed pasal dead people.. people accident.. my father's close friend accident and return home.. macam2 lah..! (usk.. dahlah uncle tu suppose to join us jalan2 pegi Thai next month!) memang if kita just cakap pasal 'death' ni kita rasa okey ajer.. but at the moment kita browse balik what we've been doing all thru this living years..and banyak SINS dari KEBAJIKAN.. then only we think twice.. kan? kan?

Just pagi tadi..on my way to work.. I saw one slight survivor just 10metres ahead of me. One old Chinese man..driving an Iswara- dunno where he's heading to..(kalut sangat)..time2 jammed macam tu nak jugak move hastily.. but to my surprise.. (and his of course!) he was hit by a tanker- I should say he's fortunate enough sebab it was right betul2 the driver's side. Kalau that tanker speed lebih sikit..hah.. I by now mesti muntah tengok flesh and blood..

But think again man.. A tanker tu.. nasib tak baik.. hah..dapatlah tengok 'live' explosion .. tu pun kalau I tak involve sekali.. (huuu..mintak simpangg..) I tak kawin lagi lahh..

But this is not sebab I still tak kawin then I'm talking about this.. tapi kalau you all tengok muka that ol'man - you guys akan rasa dia ni try nak commit suiside ke..? selamber gile.. Walaupun panic..(sikit2 ajelah potray panic tu) tapi.. once he's out of the car.. siap pointed out to the tanker's driver..dunnolah.. marah ke..maki ke.. still nak denied his mistake.. huh.. he should be grateful he still alive man...(wonder where his heart is..hehe)

For whom yang penah been thru an accident-akan tau the real feeling. Betul.. just by thinking of it right now- memang rasa eerie sangat.. i was 4 going to be 5..when i had an accident involving my uncle's car and a taxi loaded with people. My Mak Teh brought my sis and me to a kenduri kawin in Perlis. We were already on our journey back to Alor Star.

Everything was okey at first. i was sound asleep-then i heard a loud collision-i saw blood-blood and blood everywhere..i was in a total blur. Someone dragged me and my sister out of the car.. but the truth is- i can't feel myself.. i can remember things-but the shocking current still overpowered me then. my aunt and uncle were motionless. the moment i saw them..i felt unprotected. I cried.

Then the collision sounds and pictures of blood repeatedly playing in my mind..(up until now you know..) i was scared to death.. i felt so small..but i can still picture everything very clearly.. like it is always been part of myself. My uncle and aunt died in that accident-leaving 8 children.

With that.. I grow up feeling phobia with accident. Takut weh.. tapi takdelah sampai tak kuar mana2 or tak drive. Ada gak time yang I drive nak cepat etc.. tapi when I see news ke.. lori besar2 speeding.. haa.. time tu.. mulalah mulut baca macam2..takut la..

But one thing I learn from that.. not to follow the same mistake again. ( I know it's not my uncle and aunt's mistake that I have to be in that tragedy..)no one's is to be blame.. betul. Maybe it's God fate kami alami semua tu.. and now I come across the same situation where I ada gak bawak my nieces and nephews keluar jalan2.. so time tu lah all this pictures and sound playing in my mind. C'est horrible man.. trust me.

Once my cousin asked me why I drive slow sangat one time tu..kami konvoi balik my mum's house sesama .. with their only daughter insisted to go with me. So.. dah lah lalu jalan yang I paling phobia..slow jelah... lagipun bukannya nak rush pegi mana ye ak..? Why I drive slow sangat..? I repeat.. Slow..? better slow laa... kan..? Apa I nak jawab if anything happen to us..?

guys.. value your life ok..?

why am I talking about this today?? Entah.. that ol' man pagi tadi tu laa.. hish.. wonder what he's thinking.. hope he learn something..

And as expected.. that fatal incident movie played again..I just cannot imagine have to face life without our love ones.. Aghhhh.. God I'm so scared....

Al-Fatihah to Pak Teh and Mak Teh..I can still remember you guys..