My..my..it's 2008..

It’s 2008. Happy New Year!

I just can’t believe it. A year past.You know. Everything. Beside the fact that I’m getting’ old ( tu wenti nain) , I just can’t figure out why time flies so fast I feel like I’m way wayyy behind. Everything seemed to be evolved. This morning, as I watch Ezzah eating her biskut ikan on the high-chair, deep down inside me was thrilled; to see her grow so fast. I can barely remember her face when she was a baby. It was like err.. so fast!

Where is my baby clad in batik cloth? She was so small then. So soft. My. Look how big she is now!

Everybody is talking about resolution here and there. Well for me..definitely to shed down kilos will be my priority. Uh no.No. It’s the Solat first. Bad mama!

Let’s reminisce what happened in 2007.

January

Hmm.I was carrying Ezzah. 7 months. Being transferred from Technical and Special Project Unit to Valuation and Coordination Unit. New boss. New friend.

February

Nothing much. Juwita and I – pantang ada time, we’d slip out for baby-shopping! Uh. Mon cher; report duty to JLN. Everybody envied me. Haha. Plus, finally he got to know how I work all this while. Well, his first big task was handling Hari Landskap Negara. While I got the excuse to rest. Hehehe. Guess people were worried to see my perut.

March

Well. Big month for us. For me? I should be praying, grateful that Allah had spared me my life so that I can watch and hold Ezzah Zahrah; growing and call me “mama!”

Although at some point, I remember being devastated by my penyakit, the breakdown was so huge, when I give a thought about it, I felt like crying. Guess it is one of God’s sign for me. It’s some kind of a constant reminder.

I remember one day I was still at the hospital. My platelets reading were still not convincing, and knowing that they wouldn’t release me home, I called my mom, crying. She comforted me, and told me not to cry during pantang. At the end of the conversation, she went saying;

“Sabar Intan.. this is maybe your dugaan from Allah. Intan dah 28 tahun, all this while your life have been so perfect. You never face any circumstances, don’t you? Just endure it. Just for a little while. I’m sure it will end soon.Very soon.” Well, I ain’t sure whether it’s over or not. But at least I have my mom, don’t I?

April

10th April 2007. I was discharged. Finally. Slowly I learned back how to smile. Everybody gave a loud sigh upon the come-back. My God, how I’ve been a trouble to people. I don’t blame them. Even until now. But I don’t ask for the trouble either. All I can do is to THANK everybody who were with me. I appreciate every doa, visit and company, all the way through.

May

Back to work. But my weight boosted like HELL! It’s the prednisolone. The drug they prescribe me; got my body bloated with a round moon-face. Please, I have enough suffering thinking about it, you don’t want to imagine that will ya?

And I hate to answer people asking. Really hate that.

“Eh..kenape..gemuk sangat niiii?” Whatever.
Came one sarcastic lady. “Ehh..orang lain pun beranak jugak..tapi tak lah gemuk macam ni..”

Well I did cursed her. Just didn’t come out from my mouth je.You better go home bersyukur you are sihat walafiat. And shut your bloody mouth.

June

Routine check-ups. Trying very hard to get my boss’ trust back. He seemed to ‘forget’ me somewhere, somehow. Well, I don’t blame him. Think he got fed-up with me since I have to leave work quite many times. Uh oh. We found/hire a daily basis maid only to find she bluffed ‘bout her age and got all of us having heart attacks! Not for long makcik!

July

Hmm..all the same. Felt like a bad scrap. You know. Feeling like a weirdo. Feels like people hate me. Talking at my back.Hate that. At times, I made stupid mistakes. Goshh! Got a new maid. Finally.

August

IFLA World Congress 2007@PWTC. Uhh..dinner. Hate meeting old friends. They’ll ask!

September

It’s fasting month. Guess what. I didn’t had any RICE all the way through the month. Can you believe it? Neither do I.

October

Hari Raya Puasa. The RICE fasting finally burst. To what? Of course my mother in-law’s nasik dagang. Hehehe.

November

Well there were rumours I’d change unit again. Hmm..

Disember

Confirmed. Commencing 3rd January I’ll be in a new unit. With Juwita.